What I'm Wrestling With...

As Sarah's belly continues to enlarge, and little Baboy continues to do the cha-cha in the womb, there are some serious questions going on in the Lee household. I'm realizing more and more how easily convinced we are to prepare for the short-term at the expense of the long-term. I've seen it a lot with marriages-people spend umpteen amount of dollars preparing for the wedding day, but overlook and neglect preparation for the marriage.

Likewise, we spend so much effort and money preparing for the nursery and for the arrival of the baby. How much time have I spent preparing my heart to be a parent? I know that no amount of preparation can ever be enough, but where is my heart as a dad right now?

These are a few of the issues that Sarah and I are wrestling with. Among other things, we really want to have this baby as God-believers, Christ-followers. We want to trust God for the delivery and for Him to provide everything we need. It seems that marketers and baby companies want to convince us that our baby 'needs' their product. We're really trying to figure out what's the best use of our money and resources. Of course, the generosity of people around us has made that really possible.

Sarah and I have been dialoguing over what really are the essentials. We don't want to end up with a lot of junk that the baby will use three times and then we give away. I think there's a balance - a tension if you will - between wanting to provide for our child, and at the same time remembering that we are but stewards of the resources God sends. I'm really wrestling with the idea that already, just by being born into our family, my boy is more privileged than a large majority of the population of children in his generation. How do I best teach him and show him how to handle this incredible blessing?

I'm praying for wisdom right now (and I'd ask for your prayers as well) as we continue to come to an agreement over how much is enough and what truly is needful. We so want to honor God and trust Him with the raising of our son...

May God grant you sobriety and clarity in the way you lead your life as well...