Fami-Lee's Blog: August 2007

It's the last phase of our family visitations with my sister leaving this morning. My folks are in for the week, and it's been amazing seeing them go ga-ga over Calvin! My mom just can't stop touching and holding him. All along, Sylvia and I were musing over how my folks would react, and their first introduction to their grandson almost brought tears to my eyes. As I reflect on all that our family has been through, all the trials and joys that threatened to undo us, I can only echo my mother's almost constant phrase, "thanks to God..." I'm so glad that they're here, and I know the week will fly by so fast. Then it's just Sarah and me. Continue to pray for Sarah as she has not been home alone since we've had Calvin. I'm praying that it will be sweet time with the Lord and that she won't be too lonely. Mothering is such hard work! (At least it looks that way from my perspective!!!)

Sorry folk, the adjustment to life and ministry with a kid has been more taxing than ever I realized. I just haven't had the energy to update! But here I am today typing one-handed because Calvin is finally asleep (albeit iny my arms).

Martin Luther once said that the essence of sin is a curvature of the self in and upon the self. I think Luther was onto something. Self-centeredness, selfishness, self-referentiality, call it whatever you wish, we human beings are naturally bent towards looking out for numero uno, our needs, exalting ourselves...overall, making the world revolve around us. Think about it: our own self-estimation causes us to lust after people or things - we think to ourselves how much that thing would please us, how we deserve it, with no thought to the dignity of the person being lusted after, no consideration of the place of such thing in God's economy. This curvature of the self is so deceptive - we don't even know when we're being all about us!

Calvin is showing me how deep the well runs for me. He is exposing patterns of selfishness ingrained in my habits and lifestyle that I was ignorant to. Likewise, Sarah, by her selfless example and unflinching maternal love, shows me how far I must still go. I'm all about MY sleep. I love the kid because of the joy he brings ME. When he's fussy, poopy, crying, I get frustrated. Why? Because he is not behaving the way I want him to. I see now more than ever that parenting is a means for my sanctification. God is making me who He wants me to be not as a father to Calvin, but as a child of God. As I pray with Calvin in the evenings, I am overwhelmed with love for him - a love that I pray truly becomes a little more selfless today than it was yesterday. May the Lord continue to free us from our propensity towards selfishness no matter what our season of life because we all have people immediately around us in need of love.

And now for the pics...