Some reflections about what lies ahead...

Well, after the encouraging words from so many of you, it's giving me fuel to continue to log this journey through pregnancy. It's been a topsy-turvy ride as of late. God's been showing me how inadequate I am to be a parent and how much I need Him.

Over these past two weeks, I have been really grappling with my own expectations on this coming kid. My own desires/dreams for him, and what I hope that he will accomplish. It makes me understand so much more the kind of pressures that my parents put on me and why they did what they did. (Not that I agree with it all, but it helps me understand how they could do it nonetheless.)

One subconscious desire I have is that my son would really have a relationship with his grandparents on both sides. I never had this because my grandparents were in Korea or passed away before I was old enough to really desire a relationship with them. These dreams came to the surface because recently I found out that my dad has colon cancer. He had surgery last week, and it was removed completely with no spreading, but it startled me nonetheless! The thought of losing him, and the thought of my son losing him, was more than I could bear.

The whole situation has really caused me to let go of some of my dreams and expectations and simply trust God. I know this is easier said than done, but I've really come to let go of what I hope for this kid, and I'm beginning to really ask God what He wants for this kid. I have a feeling that this will be the first of many moments of 'letting go' like this, but I'm willing to go through it.

On another note, it really makes me want to go home to MD. A bunch of Sarah's gal pals also visited us, and it was so good for us! It was great for Sarah, and it was a joy for me to host them. Particularly Jeanne - it was a blast hanging out with her on Monday, getting to know her, and realizing how good she is for Sarah. Friendships like hers make me want to put my family in a place where such people will always be around. Still I'm torn...life in Chicago is great - I must be content - but family and friends are in MD. Which shall I choose? I feel like Paul in Philippians 1. I only wish I had the same tension over being here on earth and being with Him in heaven...I'm sure the Lord will lead us in His time...

Sleep-talking Part II: The Sinister Twist

Last night, Sarah fell asleep first and as I was getting into bed (climbing over her), she mumbles, "Your cousin....siejrmwoieu msdf234 ^@!#%..." I was like, "what about my cousin?" All I could make out was, "We need to send your cousin something aoiweruk,oweir)(#@$#@..."

I asked her one more time, and then she proceeded to roll over in my direction and goose me. Yes, I got sleep-goosed by my wife. I thought she was awake because right after she goosed me, she started to giggle, then 'snore, snore, snore'.

I feel so violated...

Whale watching...

So this morning, we're lying on top of the bed going over the upcoming day's events when we see Baboy moving. It's crazy seeing the baby moving inside Sarah's belly. It's like watching a version of the movie Tremors but without the man-eating worms breaking out of the ground. Sarah's belly gets all distorted on one side or we see one part of her belly lunge out.

As we were looking for baboy to move, Sarah remarks that it's like whale watching, watching the surface of her belly for the baby to 'surface'. Everytime he kicks, it's like him spouting water out of his blowhole. Whale-watching for baboy...hmm...I like that. Not only is the baby a golden piglet, he's got some whale in him as well...

Thar he blows!!!

Mitchel

Pregnancy makes you do funny things...or does it?

So last night, I'm laying in bed around 1:00 am finishing some exciting reading on the Ancient Near Eastern conception of legislative documents.... Just thinking about it makes me sleepy...

Anyhoo, here's the word for word transcription of a conversation that took place.

Sarah: Pink and brown...

ML: What? Did you say something? What did you say?

S: Yeah...pink and brown.

ML: What's pink and brown?

S: That's my favorite colors.

M: Really? Colors for what?

S: silence

M: Are you there? What colors?

S: snore...snore...

Yes, folks...Sarah and I had our first ever sleep talking conversation only she was the one sleeping. I suppose that's pretty normal?



Anyways, just remember pink and brown...

Strength to Go On...and lessons I've learned from pregnancy

Well, I almost gave up on this blog. Not receiving any comments can be a discouraging thing! Except for my faithful Kyunghwa...thanks you guys!!!

Still, a good friend (you know who you are) encouraged me to continue writing despite all those 'lurkers' out there who just read the blog and don't comment! To make it easier, I've enabled "ANYONE CAN COMMENT" so you don't need to join in order to leave a comment. You do need to enter the word verification thing, just so I don't get any comments that say, "SINGLE TONIGHT!? CALL @#(*&(*&@#$ for a hot date." I hate those wormy ads that make their way into your blog comments. What will they think of next? If one's blog comments aren't off-limits, is there anything sacred left?

Anyhoo, seeing as we just passed our halfway mark in the pregnancy, I thought I would sum up what I have learned thus far in the form of a list. And here it is...in no particular order.

1. More research goes into a baby registry than a masters-level exegesis paper on the role of women in 1 Timothy 2:9-15 according to early rabinnic traditions. Seriously, I've compared...

2. On that note, "Honey, can we stop by Babies 'R Us for a MOMENT?" never really means A moment, maybe MANY moments strung together, but that would be too many to count. Or maybe the statement's misleading because she never really defines what a moment is...

3. There are a host of gadgets out there that I have no idea of what they actually do.

4. After discovering what a breast pump does, I realize that I really don't want to know what that host of gadgets out there really do.

5. "I'm pregnant" is woman talk for "No, you do it."

6. You can get away with anything when you're pregnant. Sarah was coming down the stairs, and I was already in the car, and asked her to grab my phone (she was only half the distance), but she looked at me and yelled "I'm pregnant!" (refer to #5 - that means "No!". I imagine a judge granting a sentence to a pregnant woman who happens to be a murderer.

Judge: "Ma'am, what you did was awful. You killed all of these people, and it's been proven. What's your defense?"

Pregnant Woman: "Guilty, and I'm pregnant."

Judge: "What?! Then by all means, you're free to go."

7. Men have nothing that even remotely compares with the pregnancy excuse. Would "I'm passing a kidney stone" work?

8. The size of your bed diminishes when the woman is pregnant. Not only must you accommodate for the belly, but the body pillow and the fetal position associated with the body pillow. That calculates to roughly 2/3 of your bed space being occupied by pregnancy. Young men, who are on the verge of marriage, and want to have children, purchase your future bed size accordingly.

9. Nothing makes you pray more than the thought of your baby growing inside the womb of the woman you love. You really realize God's total control over everything because He truly is the One who knits us together...

10. Nothing makes your wife lovelier than as she grows and carries the child in her womb. There truly is a glow about her!!!

Well, that's what I've learned so far. I suppose there's a lot more, but it fits really nicely when you can get it in 10 things...

NOW GET TO COMMENTING!!! =p

Definitely a Musician

Last night, I went on an ITunes binge and bought a whole bunch of new songs. It was so relaxing to just lie there listening to some great music and relax. I realize that it's been a long time since I enjoyed some good music. It's definitely one of the ways that I connect with God and feel my longings for Him increase. Well, as Sarah and I were listening, a pretty rocking song by Big Daddy Weave came on. Suddenly the baby starts kicking! And I mean kicking!!! Growing up, I was always told I had a great internal sense of rhythm - looks like my son will have that too. Maybe there is something to putting the headphones over Sarah's belly and letting the baby listen!?

All I know is that it was cool for all four of us - Nala, Sarah, myself, and baby to enjoy a 'quiet' night of rocking out and enjoying some good jams.

If you're looking for a good lullaby/worship type CD, there's one called "Sing Over Me: Worship Songs and Lullabies" It's not really lullaby-ish, but Bethany Dillon, Nicole Nordeman, Christy Nockels all contribute on it. Check it out at Amazon.