Family reunion

It's the last phase of our family visitations with my sister leaving this morning. My folks are in for the week, and it's been amazing seeing them go ga-ga over Calvin! My mom just can't stop touching and holding him. All along, Sylvia and I were musing over how my folks would react, and their first introduction to their grandson almost brought tears to my eyes. As I reflect on all that our family has been through, all the trials and joys that threatened to undo us, I can only echo my mother's almost constant phrase, "thanks to God..." I'm so glad that they're here, and I know the week will fly by so fast. Then it's just Sarah and me. Continue to pray for Sarah as she has not been home alone since we've had Calvin. I'm praying that it will be sweet time with the Lord and that she won't be too lonely. Mothering is such hard work! (At least it looks that way from my perspective!!!)

Pictures of a happy baby...

Some pictures of me laddie...

Long time coming...

Sorry folk, the adjustment to life and ministry with a kid has been more taxing than ever I realized. I just haven't had the energy to update! But here I am today typing one-handed because Calvin is finally asleep (albeit iny my arms).

Martin Luther once said that the essence of sin is a curvature of the self in and upon the self. I think Luther was onto something. Self-centeredness, selfishness, self-referentiality, call it whatever you wish, we human beings are naturally bent towards looking out for numero uno, our needs, exalting ourselves...overall, making the world revolve around us. Think about it: our own self-estimation causes us to lust after people or things - we think to ourselves how much that thing would please us, how we deserve it, with no thought to the dignity of the person being lusted after, no consideration of the place of such thing in God's economy. This curvature of the self is so deceptive - we don't even know when we're being all about us!

Calvin is showing me how deep the well runs for me. He is exposing patterns of selfishness ingrained in my habits and lifestyle that I was ignorant to. Likewise, Sarah, by her selfless example and unflinching maternal love, shows me how far I must still go. I'm all about MY sleep. I love the kid because of the joy he brings ME. When he's fussy, poopy, crying, I get frustrated. Why? Because he is not behaving the way I want him to. I see now more than ever that parenting is a means for my sanctification. God is making me who He wants me to be not as a father to Calvin, but as a child of God. As I pray with Calvin in the evenings, I am overwhelmed with love for him - a love that I pray truly becomes a little more selfless today than it was yesterday. May the Lord continue to free us from our propensity towards selfishness no matter what our season of life because we all have people immediately around us in need of love.

And now for the pics...

Mama and Calvin look better than ever!

Calvin praying...

The kid knows how to sleep in style.

Grandpa and Calvin...

The mystery of where Calvin got his feet has been solved!!!

Calvin and samchoon...

That's all for now!!! Blessings...

Week 1 of parenthood

Week 1 of parenting an air-breather is over with, and it has been quite the transition. I find that the birth of this child has robbed me of passion in some areas. All I can think about is getting home to see my boy...and sleep. Not that I'm that sleep deprived, but rather all of the thoughts and things concerning the boy just sap my energy!

I have been in and out of so many different thoughts...there are so many different emotions, so many different questions I have. Looking at the prospect of raising this boy, I stare directly into the state of my own sinfulness and rebellion against the Lord. Knowing what I know about myself, I honestly think that I would never trust someone like me with a child. All I can say is like Paul, "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord."

I suppose that this is the reason why even parenting must be centered on the Gospel. I recently listened to a lecture by Tim Keller in which he said something so profound. Most people think that there are only two ways to live - our way (or according to the world) or God's way. Actually, Keller says that there are three: 1) Irreligious - that is, our way, rejecting the commands of God 2) Religious - keeping moral commands and using them to procure our own righteousness 3) Gospel - realizing that our righteousness and security comes from the finished work of Christ on the cross.

So many people think that 2. & 3. are the same, but they are so different. I realize the tension when I think about how parenting needs to happen. Does my son have worth in my eyes because of what he will achieve? for him? for me? Is he loved because he is a huge income tax deduction? because of his looks?

The question comes back to me: am I loved b/c I'm a good dad? Will God bless me more as long as I discipline him well and serve my wife well through it? No, Calvin is loved because he is in the image of God. And one day, I pray, he will realize that the Savior died for him and realize the extent of God's love. I am loved because of Christ, not because of my parenting... What a huge relief!!! What an inexpressible hope!!! This is my greatest assurance and my strongest joy. Thank God for the Gospel...

On another note, here are some more pics...

Nala and Dad peeking in on Calvin


Beautiful mom and beautiful Calvin


Our friends, the Schulte's came by with Joshua - only two weeks apart from Calvin!

Our neighbors, Courtney and Josh and Brody came by as well.

Like Nala, Calvin LOVES baths...

...and eating!

Several firsts...the collision of two worlds

We had several firsts yesterday.

1. Calvin has been pooing real stuff now (no more of that tar-like, sticky stuff straight out of Spiderman 3). In fact, he shot out a blast as we were changing him. Like father, like son I suppose.

2. We got rainbowed!!! As I was changing him, he decided to water the playpen, our bed, some blankets. He didn't get dad, however, I did use my hand to block the flow to prevent over saturation.

3. Calvin and I had some serious meaningful time. Singing and staring...

4. Calvin had his first bath!!!

5. Calvin and Nala had their first real introductions... Nala will just come up and sniff him whenever he cries. She will respond in a maternal way whenever it seems like Calvin is in distress. It's really quite sweet. And then she'll start barking if Calvin goes on for too long. Calvin will then get really quiet and stiff like a rabbit who things a predator is near. It's quite funny - must be a fight or flight response. Nala has been so good throughout this whole deal just being where we tell her to, and constantly wanting to be around - just like a good dog.

Here's some pics of the days events...

Nala meet Calvin...err...Calvin's feet..."No Lick!!!"


Papa and son...catching some zzzs...


Calvin preparing to hit the road...in his sleep.

Happy Feet 2

At first, Calvin didn't like his bath...or maybe it was the fact that mom and dad were taking photos and video while he was nude!


But then, like a good jedi knight, he settled down and felt so good...


And fell asleep in papa's arms. (Note: just like mom, he sleeps with his eye slightly open.)

Silence is golden...

The first two days of having Calvin home were quite the challenge! Eating every two hours and being up was tough for Sarah and my mother-in-law. I think I've had it relatively easy as they've been sleeping in the master bedroom, and I've been all around the house. I'm so grateful.

However, last night, Calvin slept for a good deal and even now this morning, he's out. All I want to do is watch him as he sleeps. Even though I've got to prepare a sermon, a lesson on textual criticism, and get things in order for several other events, all I can think about is my little boy and how tiny his hands are. Every night I get on my knees and pray for him at his crib, asking for grace for one more day to enjoy him.

For the better part of the morning, Calvin and I just stared at each other as I sang him a medley of songs ranging from "How Great Is our God" to "Great is Thy Faithfulness". It was the first real meaningful time spent between father and son, and I pray the first of many.


Well, here's one pic until I get the other ones posted...

Calvin and Grandma getting to know each other.

Homecoming...the prince has arrived!

Sarah and Calvin were discharged yesterday (yippee!) And we broke in the carseat and base unit in the Pathfinder. It was such a weird feeling knowing that my beloved son was in the car. I was so alert watching my speed and other cars...trying to protect my son at all costs. It really makes me think about Rom 8:32...

On another note, it's amazing how suddenly all of these baby stores and clothing shops pop out to me. I took Dave to the Aurora Premium Outlets to visit the Nike store, and I was stunned at the number of child stores that I had never seen before - Carter's, Gymboree, etc. It's like when you buy a new car, then suddenly everyone's driving your car...go figure.

I went back to work today briefly, and all I could do was look at Calvin's picture in my phone and feel drowsily loopy. I guess I need to get used to this feeling of being dizzy all the time! Nala's had this dazed look on her face trying to figure out what she did wrong to keep her from certain rooms now. She's been amazing though!!!

Well, here are some more pics to enjoy (at gomo's request)!

Calvin didn't like his carseat at first.

But then he chilled out.


Calvin's 'gangsta' face.


The Cote family came to visit.


So did Aunt Jane!


And the Sampsons...


And the Nickerson's!!!

Thanks to all of you for the love and support you guys have shown. It means so much! Keep praying for mom's recovery, Calvin's sleeping habits, and ultimately Calvin's salvation. We love you guys!